His Everything
by TheSecretMarauder
Summary: He waits for her. He knows he is running out of time. She is his everything. And he cracks every time she walks away. He loves her. He waits for her to love him too. He will wait forever. But, he only has eight months until graduation. Introspective story on James Potter and Lily Evans. Drabblish, bit angsty. Will be a 3-part story. Enjoy!
1. His Everything

There she goes again. Hair aflame, green eyes crackling with irritation and hate, as she glares him. He did this. He rather enjoys it though. In fact, he relishes in it. He is the only one who can get this type reaction out her. The only one who can get her to show her true colours in all their energetic, psychotic glory. Who else, other than James Potter, can get the contradiction that is Lily Evans to rage and spit like the devil himself? No one. Only James Potter, the Marauder, the prankster, the Head Boy.

After years of getting these types of reactions out of her, one would think that poor old James would get a hint and back off. But no. You see, if there is one thing that James Potter can't resist, it's a challenge. And who better a challenge than Lily Evans? She is kind and witty and clever. But she also turns into a raging lunatic when angry, gets defensive, is stubborn as a mule, and is oh so completely and utterly lost in her own world of rules and laws that she doesn't ever slow down to really live in the moment.

That's where James Potter comes in. He is her opposite in nearly every way. James continuously lives in the moment, thrives on it. How else can one fully enjoy life if they don't take the time to really see all that it offers? Of course, this is the type of logic that he follows when he pushes Lily's buttons. He loves to see Lily go from annoyed to full-out raging and see her eyes shoot daggers at him. He takes pride in the fact that he is the only one who can manage this, to get her to come out of her shell and just BE.

Right now though, Lily Evans is right in front of him, criticizing him, insulting him, and all he can think of is how absolutely gorgeous she is when she lets loose and forgets about everyone else. Except him and her. He lives for these moments. He depends on her to go head to head with him. To fill him with the fire that rolls off her in waves whenever he's around to annoy her. Because no other girl would do this. No other would insult him and bite back and give him a run for his money. She keeps him on his toes just as he does to her.

He needs her. He has known this for quite a while now, a couple of years to be exact. At first it was just a little crush, mainly based on her looks. But then he felt the fire. So he let her feel his own. Her fire, her tenacity, her stubbornness made him crave more of her. He wants to know everything about her. She is his world. He loves her. So much, that most of the time it's painful for him. She doesn't know of course. Sure he asks her out casually, and continuously gets rejected, but he has never told how she is his everything. How every time she walks away he cracks just a bit more. Everyday he watches as she interacts with others, is kind to others, and then there's him. She will look his way with hate in her eyes. And he just cracks, cracks, cracks.

There are times when they share a secret smile while working on their Head duties. Or when he's said something particularly funny and amusing. But most of the time he insults her and she insults him. Why, you may ask, would he insult her if he loves her? Well, James loves her with everything he has, mind, body, and soul. So, he wants her to also give him everything she is, just as he has given everything he is to her. He wants her anger, her glares, her insults. He wants her kindness, her witty banter, her heart. He wants her to be herself around him. Just as he has done. He has dropped a lot of his pretences around her, not being as much of a prat or being as arrogant as before. He has become real for her. He has already surrendered everything to her. She just doesn't know it yet.

Now Lily is asking him what he is doing, confusion and annoyance clear in her eyes and voice. He's staring at her, wishing for her, longing to say that she is his everything. She is everything. But he can't. Because right now, in this moment of time, she will turn compassionate, as is in her nature, and give it all back, his love, his body, his soul, his heart. He can't risk it. If he does, he will shatter. So he's prepared to wait. To wait for her to realize that she is only truly herself around him, that he makes her stop and live in the moment, that he will always be waiting for her. That he is her everything. And always will be.

She stares back. He says nothing. She is his everything, but he says nothing. He is cowardly. She brings him to his knees. He is cracking, cracking, cracking. She walks away. Crack. He will wait. He will wait until he shatters. He knows she is confused about why he makes her feel so alive. Why only he can make her laugh, cry, and hate with a passion she didn't know she was capable of. He only has eight more months until they graduate. Eight months to be around her, to see her, to annoy her, to give her everything he is. Eight months to get her to see, clearly see, that he loves her with everything he has and more. That he is hers, and always will be. No other woman could or would ever even come close to her. She is Lily Evans, a contradiction. He is James Potter, a Marauder. And so he waits. And cracks. Until he shatters, he will wait. For his everything.

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Hey so hope you enjoyed. I just love Lily and James. So cute. Anyway, please leave a review!


	2. Her Everything

So since I got a few reviews asking for another part here ya go! There's going to be another part to this and then it'll be done. This is in Lily's POV. I'm thinking the last part will be in James' POV just cuz he's a lot of fun to write. Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

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She walks away. She doesn't look back. She can't. She leaves him standing there, watching her go. She is angry, but her rage is slowly diminishing, fading as she walks away from HIM. He, the bane of her existence, the annoying prat, the man who has irritated her since day one, is the very reason for her inner conflict. She can't look. Don't do it. She knows what will happen if she does. Don't do it. She can't look him in the eyes again. His eyes. For a split second they had changed. From teasing and smug, to heartbroken and filled with worlds of pain. They had cracked. If she looks, she won't be able to run away. She is scared. He has the ability to unravel her, to break open her tiny, cosy little world. She is scared.

James Potter is the only man in the school, in her life, in the entire universe, who can make her blood boil in anger. Who can make her toss her rationality aside. Who can make her say things she would never say. He brings out the worst in Lily Evans. He brings out the best in Lily Evans. She knows this. Oh, she knows this with a clarity beyond her years. She is only truly herself around him. She is not afraid when James Potter is around. Yet she is also terrified when he is. This conflict, this internal struggle, is causing her so much grief and pain. It's James Potter. It's James BLOODY Potter.

How, how, how, how, HOW did this happen to her? WHY did this happen to her? She is confused and angry and sorrowful. James Potter is a contradiction. He is arrogant, smug, a troublemaker. But he is also kind, funny, and extremely clever. He is Head Boy. She is Head Girl. Since the year began she has had to face a many things about James Potter. She admits that her view on him was biased. He has changed. He's not as cocky anymore, he has toned down his bragging and practical jokes. Of course the Marauders, being the Marauders, have continued doing the pranks and jokes but they have stopped doing the cruel ones. Lily Evans has had to face the fact that even though some of their pranks were cruel, most were in retaliation for what another student had done. Whether it be bullying, harassment, abuse, or more, the Marauders gave them what they deserved. But why, you may ask, is Miss Lily Evans focusing so much on the pranks? How is this struggle at all related with pranks of all things? Well, it's simple really. Those pranks show that the Marauders, that JAMES, has a sense of justice and that they play fair. Well, most of the time anyway. One cannot merely just sweep their grudge on the Slytherins under the rug after all. She knows this. James Potter is slowly becoming clearer, no matter how much she wishes he would stay on the sidelines.

So, Lily Evans walks away. Through the castle, up flights of stairs, down corridors, walking, jogging, running, sprinting. As far away as possible from James Potter and his teasing and his sad, sad eyes. Those eyes. They won't get out of her head. As though they are trying to make her face what is in her heart. She is being pulled in every direction. She can't think properly. She is snapping, snapping, snapping. So she stops. And she thinks. James Potter. The bane of her existence. The one who teases her. The one who gets her all riled up. The one who is fair to her. The one who is not afraid to point out her mistakes, but is the first to stand up for her. The one who has been on the sidelines her whole life in Hogwarts. Now he is centre stage. For two years, he has been front and centre in her life. With his teasing, his witty banter, his smiles, his fighting. He is right there. In front of her. This whole time he has been RIGHT THERE. And she knows it. Deep down, she knows it. She just doesn't want to face it. But she has to. That split second of emotion from his eyes is making her. Making her look deep and find out WHY he does this to her. Why she, Lily Evans, reacts so much to him, James Potter.

James Potter is a Marauder, the Quidditch Captain, the Head Boy. Lily Evans is a contradiction, a rule-abiding student, the Head Girl. He has hazel eyes and black hair that defies gravity. She has emerald eyes and hair of fire. He is her opposite. She is his opposite. He has matured. She has stayed the same. Stuck in this vicious cycle of hiding and denying and burying what is in her own heart. She has to break free. Because someday, he won't be there. Eight months. That's all they have together. Snap. Eight measly months. For her to do something. Snap. For her to figure out her own heart, to stop being such a coward. In eight months, they will separate. James Potter will no longer be centre stage in her life. Snap. And Lily Evans will no longer be centre stage in his. He will be off doing amazing, incredible things. Helping people. Doing his best to help the outside world. He will be with someone else. Snap. He will forget her. Snap. And this makes her desperate. This thought alone can shatter her heart. If it were to happen, her heart would be dust. She would be a shell. She is snapping, snapping, snapping.

She can't stop. She continues to run, run, run, even when she is gasping for breath. She needs more time. But time is chasing her, reminding her that the strings that tie her to him will be cut. Eight months. Eight months. Eight months. It's like a mantra in her head. Getting louder and louder and louder until she feels as though she will burst. James Potter is in her minds eye. She is snapping, snapping, snapping.

Stop. She waits. She breaths. She sinks to the floor and closes her eyes. She needs him. She needs James bloody Potter. Lily Evans cannot comprehend a life without him. She knows she can live without him. After all, she is strong and independent. But without him, her life will be colourless. He is a splash of colour in her otherwise repetitive life. He brings her to life. He is her everything. It is not a question of can she live without him, it is a question of does she WANT to live without him. The answer is so obvious to her, so clear, she wonders why she didn't come to this conclusion earlier. She wants James Potter. He is her air. He brings adventure and wonder and COLOUR to her world. He is her everything.

She opens her eyes. Lily Evans knows what she has to do. She cannot let him go. He has been waiting. She has been cruel for making him wait. She has to do something. She is finally ready. She is scared. She is terrified. She is a coward. But she is strong. She will survive. She is Head Girl. He is Head Boy. He is her everything. He makes her feel things on an entirely different scope. It feels like she is about to burst. Snap. She needs to find him. Snap. Now before she loses her nerve. Snap. Because something needs to be done. No more silence. No more cowardice. She is ready. She is snapping, snapping, snapping without him. She is about to burst. Snap. He is her everything. She starts walking. Searching. For her everything.

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So hope you enjoyed it! Please review! And if there's any constructive criticism that'd be appreciated too! Thanks. Until next time, TheSecretMarauder.


	3. Their Everything

Okay so here's the last part! So it switches from James to Lily to James etc every paragraph. And then the last one is them together kinda. Let me know if it makes. If not I can but breakers between each paragraph. I didn't now cuz I wanted it flow together instead of broken up. Anyway don't own Harry Potter. Enjoy!

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He stares at the spot she once was. Tick. Seconds go by. Tick. Minutes. Tick. He thinks he can still feel her warmth, her fire. Tick. The words are still at the edge of his tongue. The words he can't say. The words that will make him shatter. Tick. Eight months. Tick. He is cracking. He can feel it. It's starting to slowly overwhelm him. Tick. He needs to _move._ He turns. He is walking, jogging, running, sprinting. Trying to hold himself together, trying not to shatter. Crack. Don't think about it. Crack. Run. Crack. Don't look back. Run. He slows down. He is slowly, ever so slowly, catching his breath again. Encasing his heart again. He knows it will break when she comes. It always breaks when she's around, leaving his vulnerable heart in the open, throbbing in pain. James Potter is still waiting.

She is running. She needs to find him. Where is he? Running, running, running. She is losing control. Snap. She doesn't like it. She needs to get a GRIP. Snap. Pull herself together. Find him. Snap. He is waiting, she knows this. She needs to find him before she makes it any worse. He has already had to wait for her for six years. She is cruel. She needs to find him. Eight months. Snap. That's all they have left. Snap. Eight months. She has no idea what to say. She just needs to be with him, to feel his colour seep into her world again. To finally BREATH again. She is losing control. She is about to burst. She wants to shed her mask and show him her true heart. The one that she keeps hidden in fear of rejection and pain, and a world of hurt. She doesn't want to be shut out. She will snap, snap, snap if she is. Lily Evans is now searching.

He turns a corner. He feels cold. She is his fire. She is the rock in his life that keeps him steady. She fuels his passion with his own. His world doesn't feel right without her there. He needs her. He feels like a shadow. He needs his sun. He needs...wait. Movement. He saw something. His heart leaps. He knows. He knows it will crack again if it isn't her. But he can't help but hope. Because that is all he really has. Hope. And he has always been a bit of a dreamer. That's why they fit. He's the dreamer, she's the realist. Green. Red. All of sudden his whole vision is clouded with green and red. He sees her stop. Gasping for breath as she looks at him. Him. She's back. But why? Can she see his very being cracking? There she is. She straightens. They stand. Looking at one another. Green clashes with hazel. A shadow and a shell. They stare.

There he is. His eyes. Hazel and cold and dark. He is a shadow. She is a shell. They stare. It feels as though there is a barrier between. As though glass is separating them. They can see each other. But they can't feel each other. They can't hear what the others very being is yelling, screaming, pleading for. They stand. They stare. She needs to say something. Say anything. Now is the time for action. Now is the time to do something. Because she will lose her nerve otherwise. She may not get this chance again. She needs to tell him. The words are on the edge of her tongue. They're stuck. Why are they stuck? She is still a coward. Tell him. Say it. Do it! She opens her mouth. And says it.

His name. She says his name. His first name, not just Potter. James. It sounds so right coming from her. Her eyes are filling with emotion. He can barely keep up as each new emotion is immediately replaced with another. Anger, sadness, grief, confusion, determination, hope, desperation, love...Wait. Love. He sees it. It can't be. Are his eyes playing tricks on him? Please, please, please. Let it be true. James. She said it again. Why did she say it again? The barrier. The glass barrier between them. It's cracking. Just like he was. He needs her to say it. SAY IT. He opens his mouth.

Her name. He says her name. It's as though she is hearing it for the first time. Lily. She steps closer. So does he. The glass. It's cracking, cracking, cracking. She hopes he can see the emotions pouring out of her. She can't turn them off anyway. They are overwhelming her. Consuming her. She puts her hand on the glass. He does too, right on hers. It shatters. Their hands are touching. She sees a spark of hope in his eyes. He always was a dreamer. Never giving up hope. She wishes she was like that. She thinks rationally. He thinks impossibly. She sees the restrictions. He sees the possibilities. She opens her mouth. He opens his mouth.

Her everything. His everything. They say it together. They stare. He can't believe it. His heart soars. The cracks are mending as she repeats herself over and over and over. Click. Her everything. Click. She loves him. Click. He is finally warm again. Click. She really loves him. Click. Finally. Click. Finally. Click. The pieces of his heart, his soul, his very being are fixing themselves, fitting together. Because of her. His everything. She is healing him.

She is overjoyed. Her emotions are still pouring out of her. But they are not overwhelming anymore. No they are glorious, psychotic, colourful. Her world is full of colour again. Click. His everything. He repeats it again and again and again. Click. As though he can't stop. As though he is a dying man saying his last words. She is no longer snapping. Click. He loves her. He still loves her. She is being mended. By him. Her everything. He is fixing her.

There they stand. Foreheads pressed together. Hands intertwined. They had finally found each other. Green and hazel. Lily Evans and James Potter. Their hearts were bursting with emotions. Their world was full of colour in its very own glorious, psychotic, warm mess. He was cracking. She was snapping. Threatening to shatter. Threatening to burst. He was waiting. She was hiding. Time was running out. But they fixed each other. He was patient. She had finally faced her heart. He was ever present. She was searching. Separately they had longed for it. His everything. Her everything. Together they had grasped it. Their everything.

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So hope you liked it. Please review. I really enjoyed this. It can out so effortlessly too. Weird. Anyway Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

The Secret Marauder


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